[ Club Penance may be dimensions away, but the consequences of that night remain suffocatingly close, silhouetting the nebulous shape of their relationship as it exists now. Much like then, Stiles finds himself feverishly consumed by the need to repent for perceived sins. Except, as he watches Itachi absorb news of his questionable infidelity – questionable because they never set expectations of monogamy to begin with – he already understands that he won’t find the judgment he craves. Not here. Not from Itachi. That said, he is quietly surprised by the amount of emotion the man displays in the moment. To an outsider, perhaps Itachi would look like an uninvolved third party, relatively untouched by the information. But after a year of traveling the dimensions together, Stiles has learned how to better navigate the unflinching stone façade.
Meeting Itachi’s eyes is difficult. Shame burns scalding hot through him as he does; it feels as though, once again, he’s failed one of his precious people. His dad, Scott, Malia, Jonas, Itachi. Does it ever end? But Stiles can stew in melancholic, self-loathing rumination another time. There’s a conversation this needs to build into, one that they’re long overdue. ]
I lost control, [ he admits, memories of Guanshan bubbling to the surface before he hastily slams shut the lid on them. ] But I’m fine.
[ Except that’s a lie. It’s always a lie. Dragging a hand down his face wearily, Stiles tries again. ]
No, I’m not fine.
[ The sheet of paper is taken from Itachi to be placed back down on the counter, but Stiles pauses as their hands graze each other and Synchrony lights up like a beacon between them. Itachi’s discontentment and confusion are a bitter taste on his tongue. The urge to kiss those dexterous fingers soothingly is strong, as if he could reassure the man that way. Instead, Stiles clasps them. ]
Can you be honest with me – about what I am to you?
no subject
Meeting Itachi’s eyes is difficult. Shame burns scalding hot through him as he does; it feels as though, once again, he’s failed one of his precious people. His dad, Scott, Malia, Jonas, Itachi. Does it ever end? But Stiles can stew in melancholic, self-loathing rumination another time. There’s a conversation this needs to build into, one that they’re long overdue. ]
I lost control, [ he admits, memories of Guanshan bubbling to the surface before he hastily slams shut the lid on them. ] But I’m fine.
[ Except that’s a lie. It’s always a lie. Dragging a hand down his face wearily, Stiles tries again. ]
No, I’m not fine.
[ The sheet of paper is taken from Itachi to be placed back down on the counter, but Stiles pauses as their hands graze each other and Synchrony lights up like a beacon between them. Itachi’s discontentment and confusion are a bitter taste on his tongue. The urge to kiss those dexterous fingers soothingly is strong, as if he could reassure the man that way. Instead, Stiles clasps them. ]
Can you be honest with me – about what I am to you?