[Admitting this much is revealing, perhaps more than he has said point blank even to Kisame himself. The trust has always felt implicit—if somewhat taboo—between them.]
[It shouldn't startle him now to hear more of Sasuke's life beyond his own. He's already forgiven Sasuke for any trespasses—but it doesn't lessen the initial emotional impact of learning what his own actions have caused his brother to do. Sasuke could tell him a thousand times that he is not responsible for it; he can't say whether he'll ever believe it.
At least, through text, he can remain objective.]
I see. And Kisame didn't speak with you on the topic.
I was too preoccupied to get to know any of them better.
[ An understatement, perhaps. He hadn't cared at the time who they were or what they stood for, as long as he achieved his goals. The ends justifying the means. ]
None of them survived the war.
Everyone was disposable when it came to Infinite Tsukuyomi in the end.
[There's so much to unpack in what his brother tells him. Miles of questions, unearthed in a realization that his partner is also dead in a future where someone's plan far beyond his own prediction seems to have unraveled. It doesn't surprise him to learn about the fate of Akatsuki, but Kisame in particular… It was always a possibility, given the nature of their work. And yet.
Exhaustion pulls at Itachi like a tide as he imagines continuing the conversation, getting more details about a reality he had long decided to leave. Was it selfish of him? Should he have stayed, to ensure the protection of everyone else? He doesn't have an answer.]
Thank you for telling me.
I won't ask you to conceal anything from him, but I would prefer if the two of you could find neutral ground.
[ Reading between the lines is something of an art, and though he has only begun to relearn his brother in the last few months, he thinks he is slowly starting to untangle the complexities. This is Itachi trying not to pick a side, but Itachi is not an neutral party, which drives home the point that he cares about Kisame in whatever way he does. ]
I won't start anything.
[ A compromise. If Kisame is anything like Suigetsu, Sasuke knows he may be forced to take action — but at the very least, the idea Kisame might be a threat to his brother has been eased. ]
[ After the bonfire, the naked show of honesty between them, it feels a little strange to hold back — but decades of doing so still make him hesitate. ]
[ There's an prolonged radio silence as Sasuke tries to think of how best to describe it. There's a certain degree of humiliation that comes in just the admittance, particularly in the face of a man who has such ironclad control over himself and his emotions from Sasuke's perspective. Particularly this man, who he can't help craving approval from. ]
It feels like I have less reason not to act impulsively.
Like I can't think of a reason to hold back from something I want to say or do.
[That is… problematic. In his brother's position, Itachi isn't sure how he would cope. Control over impulse and inhibition is necessary for so much of who they are as people -- as shinobi.]
It is good to be aware of how you've been affected, at least. Very likely the gem is responsible for this change. If it can alter our bodies, there is no reason not to suspect it can also alter our personalities. I have witnessed as much from some transformations in others.
[ He knows it's the gem, and he knows it must be some kind of instinct — but fear, too, is an instinct, and one Sasuke has had to beat down and overcome over his life as a shinobi. Why shouldn't this be the same? The lack of control is unnerving, and the worst of it... ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Do you trust him?
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I do.
I’m assuming you two have spoken, then.
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Enough to give him the chance to meet with you.
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Does he know the truth of what happened?
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Did you never interact with him? After.
[After I died, and you lived on into the future.]
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[ He pauses, somehow uncertain; perhaps some part of him still desiring his brother's approval and not sure if this would garner it. ]
I worked with Akatsuki for a time, after.
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At least, through text, he can remain objective.]
I see. And Kisame didn't speak with you on the topic.
What became of Akatsuki?
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[ An understatement, perhaps. He hadn't cared at the time who they were or what they stood for, as long as he achieved his goals. The ends justifying the means. ]
None of them survived the war.
Everyone was disposable when it came to Infinite Tsukuyomi in the end.
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Exhaustion pulls at Itachi like a tide as he imagines continuing the conversation, getting more details about a reality he had long decided to leave. Was it selfish of him? Should he have stayed, to ensure the protection of everyone else? He doesn't have an answer.]
Thank you for telling me.
I won't ask you to conceal anything from him, but I would prefer if the two of you could find neutral ground.
[You are both important to me.]
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I won't start anything.
[ A compromise. If Kisame is anything like Suigetsu, Sasuke knows he may be forced to take action — but at the very least, the idea Kisame might be a threat to his brother has been eased. ]
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That is all I can ask.
... How are you coping, so far?
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You'll have to be more specific.
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The Sapphire is difficult to contend with.
Sakura is
[ ... ]
unexpected.
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[Personally, he hasn't noticed too much of a negative side effect from his Amethyst, but he understands that not all of the gems are the same.
The second part earns another question:]
... Have you spoken with her?
[Specifically about the future, but he doesn't say as much.]
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It has an influence on me I cannot control, outside the transformation and the magic. You haven't experienced something like that?
I have. We met at the bonfire.
[ It goes unsaid that anything he might have been trying to hide didn't remain very hidden, given what transpired between he and Itachi. ]
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[Though now he's beginning to wonder, as he's noticed similar behavior in others by now. Has he been less affected? Is there some reason for it?
Setting aside the topic of Sakura temporarily to focus on this first, concerning issue...]
Can you describe to me how it feels?
narrowly dodged a very different conversation with that edit,,,
It feels like I have less reason not to act impulsively.
Like I can't think of a reason to hold back from something I want to say or do.
i dont even remember what i edited oops
[That is… problematic. In his brother's position, Itachi isn't sure how he would cope. Control over impulse and inhibition is necessary for so much of who they are as people -- as shinobi.]
It is good to be aware of how you've been affected, at least. Very likely the gem is responsible for this change. If it can alter our bodies, there is no reason not to suspect it can also alter our personalities. I have witnessed as much from some transformations in others.
You should not blame yourself for it.
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[ He knows it's the gem, and he knows it must be some kind of instinct — but fear, too, is an instinct, and one Sasuke has had to beat down and overcome over his life as a shinobi. Why shouldn't this be the same? The lack of control is unnerving, and the worst of it... ]
I don't always notice it happening.
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[He realizes he's assuming, because it would make himself uncomfortable, but had not explicitly asked.]
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I think you know the answer to that.
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